


promise me some dignity if i were to stand and die here (cause my heart is somewhere else)

by gingerbread man (xphantomhive)



Category: Homestuck
Genre: But not Owl City this time, I don't know, I really don't, I've been doing that a lot lately, I've noticed I write a lot of this kind of stuff, M/M, Maybe I should try fluff, Switching it up on you guys, This time it's from a Mayday Parade song, Title is purposely lowercase, Why am I so depressing, it's a lyric from a song, what is this
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-06-29
Updated: 2015-06-29
Packaged: 2018-04-06 17:36:46
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 922
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4230783
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/xphantomhive/pseuds/gingerbread%20man
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>He never thought of himself as a hero.</p><p>(that was okay --</p><p>you always thought of him as one.)</p>
            </blockquote>





	promise me some dignity if i were to stand and die here (cause my heart is somewhere else)

**Author's Note:**

> Since I sometimes seem to forget to tag when there's a death, I remembered this time. I kill feels without a warning bell first. This time there is one.
> 
> I'm not sure this is all that good, but hey, I tried.
> 
> (nothing I write is really ever that good, and I--)

EB: well i always kind of thought you were a hero!

EB: a knight in shining armor, you know?

TG: god youre such a dork

You run your fingers gingerly over his face.

He is cold. Colder than Jade’s land. Colder than frost. Colder than ice cream during the summer. Colder than an air conditioner. His chest does not rise and fall, and you cannot seem to hear his heart beating. You suppose that’s because it isn’t.

He is pale. Paler than doves. Paler than Rose’s hair. Paler than he ever was before. His sunglasses are only shattered remains, enclosed tightly in his palm. He had been dying, but in his last breaths he had made sure your gift remained by his side.

(his lips are cold under yours, but you still kiss him.

it doesn’t bring him back.

he died a hero’s death --

you aren’t allowed to have him back.)

EB: as if you aren’t one!

EB: well, anyway, hey.

EB: i’m excited to see you.

TG: oh cmon dont go all sentimental on me now egbert

TG: you were doing so good

EB: i can’t help it!

EB: i’m really, really happy i’ll get to see you again, dave.

EB: it’s been a while.

TG: “a while”

EB: i don’t need your sass.

EB: i know you’re just as excited to see me, you ironic coolkid.

TG: jabbing at my personality are we

TG: you been talking to lalonde lately

TG: sure as hell sounds that way

EB: she’s helpful despite the snarkiness.

EB: stop ignoring the subject at hand!

TG: yeah im excited to see you too

TG: even though youre a fucking dork

He is quiet. You’ve never heard him quiet for this long; when he was alive, he would always be making some form of noise. Whether it be through “sick beats” or just having a normal conversation with you or someone else, he never sat silent for more than a few seconds. Now, he makes not a sound.

You wonder what he would have said to you if he were alive.

He is peaceful. If you were to lay him down and look at him from a distance, it would look as though he were only sleeping. But as you moved closer, you would see that his chest has stilled. He is not breathing, and his heart is not beating.

(he bleeds, still.

it has to have been hours since he was killed. but blood still puddles beneath him, fresh crimson. it stains your blue shirt.

you don’t mind.)

EB: see, i knew you would be able to admit it.

EB: doesn’t that feel better?

TG: what are you my therapist

TG: thought that was exclusively roses job but i guess im wrong

TG: dr egbert everyone

EB: haha, shut up dave!

EB: gosh, you’re annoying. can’t we ever have a moment?

TG: a moment

EB: a moment.

You’re having a moment now, you suppose.

He is still in your arms. You try to imagine his voice in your head, but it’s much harder to hear now than it was before. You try to pretend he’s rapping to you, terrible as it always was. The sword he was killed by lies dormant at your feet, and you kick it with such force that it flies somewhere unseen.

You gather his body in your arms and stand, blinking away tears. Rose and Jade still stand by, absolutely dumbstruck. They have not moved an inch since you’d last looked at them -- why, you are uncertain. You turn away from them.

(rose’s violet eyes are soft with compassion.

jade’s green eyes are wide and full of tears. you do not know if they’re for you or him.

your blue eyes are outlined by bags. you haven’t slept in days, but it feels like months.)

EB: so.

TG: so?

EB: this game, it sucks.

TG: you dont say

TG: youre still alive though so thats good

EB: hey, so are you! accomplishment, much?

TG: xbox achievement worthy

EB: further proof you’re the biggest dork ever, you’re just good at hiding it.

TG: shut the fuck up

EB: hehe.

TG: you feel like a hero yet

EB: not really, but i’ve been told i am.

TG: you are

TG: im not

EB: don’t be like that!

EB: i think you’re a hero, dave.

TG: thanks means a lot

EB: is that sarcasm i sense?

TG: partially

Before you know it, you’re walking. You have no destination in mind -- it isn’t as if there’s anywhere for you to go, anyway. You wish he would wake up, tell you this was all a joke, and you fell for it. Haha, Egbert, gotcha. Told you I’d get you back for those pranks someday. You aren’t the pranking master anymore, are you?

But he doesn’t move. He remains still as a corpse.

(a voice in the back of your mind reminds you that he is one.

you pretend it doesn’t exist.)

TG: totally a hero dude

TG: youre totally one

TG: and i am not

EB: you're so stupid, dave!

EB: you're such a hero. you are soooooooo hero it hurts.

You hold the body tighter to your chest and cry. You cry so loud that you wouldn’t be surprised if the trolls could hear you from their planet, wherever that was.

TG: im no hero

TG: you though

TG: youve got hero potential

EB: you are ridiculous.

“Hey Dave,” You whisper shakily, reaching one hand to dry your eyes. “You were always my hero."

**Author's Note:**

> I'm apparently the evil lord of sadstuck, so I have to live up to that title.
> 
> I was temporarily forgiven for that, but yeah, I doubt that I am anymore.
> 
> My fingers slipped?


End file.
